I'm Back, (With A) Baby!
Hello, loves! It feels damn good to be back. To be honest, I never expected to take a true maternity leave because I thought working from home would make it a smooth transition and I could get back in the swing of things around eight or ten weeks postpartum. Um, nope! I truly enjoy what I do, but spending the past four months snuggled up with Lacey was exactly what I needed, especially given my long and lengthy recovery (more on that later).
There were many times I wanted to hop on Instagram stories or post a photo or write a blog, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Either I had a rough night and looked like sh*t, was too exhausted, or selfishly wanted to spend the hour I had between feedings watching Real Housewives rather than working. I enjoyed every minute of this time off, even though it wasn’t really time off at all!
Being a mom to a newborn is by far the most difficult transition I’ve ever experienced, but also the most amazing. Lacey is a wonderful baby and I’m so grateful to her for making this transition as easy as possible on her end. We’ve had our days, of course, but for the most part, she’s a dream baby.
Things haven’t been so smooth on my end. My recovery has been challenging, which I found surprising given both my pregnancy and labor experiences. My friend Julia said something that really resonated with me when I was venting to her a few weeks ago. She said “everyone deals with something when it comes to having a baby.”
So even though my experience of getting pregnant was easy, my pregnancy was relatively by-the-book, and my delivery was natural and “normal,” the things that happened during my delivery made for a somewhat difficult recovery.
There’s an amazing community around pregnancy and labor, and I felt pretty educated on everything in terms of those two topics. I was not, however, educated on postpartum recovery.
I knew about postpartum depression and symptoms to look for, but luckily my emotions have remained in check minus a few random teary-eyed nights in the very beginning. I can still remember those moments while doing Lacey’s last feeding of the day and starring at her and saying to Ryan, “I just love her so much!” The weepiness was crazy, but it only lasted a few days and was actually endearing to Ryan.
I struggled with recovery in terms of my scar healing properly and a minor bladder prolapse, which was brought on by tight tissue. I literally go to physical therapy for my vagina every week, where my PT breaks up the fascia and I sit there cringing with a smile on my face because I feel so much better once our sessions are over.
When I first realized what I had, I was pissed. Why wasn’t anyone talking about what COULD happen after pregnancy, other than postpartum depression? I don’t like feeling uneducated, and I was clueless about what a prolapse was and why I was still in so much discomfort even eight weeks after having a baby.
I’m going to save all of the detail for a separate blog post, but the good news is that I’m feeling so much better now and am on my way to a version of normal as Lacey turned four months old. Woohoo!
Obviously, having a baby will change the nature of my blog. I’ll still be discussing all things health and wellness, but will be including topics on motherhood as well. I’m so excited to share what I learn with you guys! I’m also taking topic requests, so if there’s something you’re curious about (everyone has asked me to write about how Lacey started sleeping through the night at eight weeks), DM me on Instagram or share it in the comments below.