My Personal Food Story
If you’ve been around for awhile, you know I’ve written about my history with food before. I actually can’t believe it’s been years since I wrote my first revealing post about my eating disorder. The amount of love I received afterward was completely overwhelming, and although it’s been a long time since I went through that particular journey, it’s still comforting to know that I’m not alone. You guys rock :)
Diving into today’s topic…
It’s easy to look at someone and make assumptions about their life—in this case, their life around food. This form of judgment has been very prevalent during my pregnancy.
I’ve had a pretty standard pregnancy in terms of food:
First trimester: Nauseous all the time, couldn’t look at vegetables, and only craved white foods like bread, pasta, and pretzels! Oh...and cereal :)
Second trimester: Was super hungry in the beginning, but after week 26, couldn’t eat a normal meal even if I tried. And when I did try, I felt so sick and full afterwards. But for most of this trimester, eating normal meals was fine and I was able to eat salads and smoothies and all of the foods that I love!
Third trimester: Even though my digestion is still great, I can’t eat a lot in one sitting. I’m probably eating the same as I was prior to pregnancy. It’s hard…like, really hard. I miss being hungry. The only time I ever feel a sense of hunger is in the mornings.
Because of this, and because I’ve been taking care of myself through eating a healthy diet and working out, I haven’t gained a ton of weight. To this point at week 33, I’ve gained 20(ish) pounds, and honestly, it’s not for lack of effort. I want to eat, and believe me, there are still nights when I have a small dinner and throw down half a pint of Ben & Jerry’s because I feel like it.
Everywhere I go, someone seems to have a comment about my body. One pediatrician (during our interview with them) had the balls to ask me IF I was eating. She was half joking, but still. The Jersey side of me wanted to hurl across the table, but instead, I gave her some nonchalant answer and laughed it off.
Our bodies experience different journeys during pregnancy, and in my case, it would be difficult to over gain even if I tried based on how my stomach is handling food.
I’m not unique in this circumstance. I know many women who gained in the 18-25 range and had healthy babies. Others feel like I did the entire first trimester, and end up gaining throughout the entire pregnancy. Had I gone through this experience, I’m sure I’d be in that same boat.
My point to sharing this with you is that no matter how much time has gone by and how hard you’ve worked on your relationship to food, things are always going to come up throughout life. It’s been twelve years since I was in the midst of my eating disorder, and I still get affected by my own thoughts and the comments of others. This is natural and should be expected. What’s changed is how I handle the thoughts and comments.
My prior food obsession held me back in my own life, and until I was fully healed, it felt like I was in a vicious cycle of deprive-->reward-->guilt-->repeat.
Pregnancy would have been a lot different if I were still in the midst of my struggle with orthorexia, especially the first trimester when all I could eat were foods that I didn’t consider to be super “healthy.”
On some level, no matter what dysfunction you may be experiencing with food, I’ve been there—whether it was in my previous life or more recently.
Stuck. Frustrated. Lost. Confused. Disproving of my body. Annoyed that I can’t “figure it out.” Constantly falling for new diet fads only to end up even more exhausted and bloated than before I started!
Many years went by where I didn’t feel sexy, loved, or understood.
Instead of writing out my history for you, I share my ENTIRE food story (starting at age 19!) in the first video of my Free 3-Part Video Series called Food or Fiction. I also lay out the top three reasons you may be feeling stuck in your diet and your life right now (and how to change that sh*t so you can move forward in your life!).
I promise this will be worth your while. And in the comments below the videos, you’ll get free coaching from yours truly.
You don’t have to go through life like I did. Let me take you on a journey so you can avoid those feelings, find a community who gets you, and have faith that you have all the answers you need to solve your diet and body image woes.
These videos will only be around for a short time, so don’t wait to watch them until it’s too late.
You can sign up now by clicking here. Can’t wait to welcome you into my home and spend the next week together!