Surprise! We're Pregnant
(Funny thing about the above photo. I took this with my photographer in San Diego just days before the baby was conceived, for a post I was planning to write on a Fertility & Health Update. Life is pretty ironic, huh? :) A photo of the real bump is below!)
Oh my gosh, friends! You have no idea how excited I am to share this news, for so many reasons.
First off, I’ve been completely MIA from social media and my blog (aside from posts here and there) because, man…my first trimester was tough. I simply couldn’t be on Instagram stories or social media of any kind and try to put on a “happy face” because it felt completely inauthentic.
Pregnancy made me realize how much I value my truth and being real with you guys and this community, and the fact that I would rather take a hit on new followers and likes and all that stuff for the sake of my own sanity and authenticity made me really proud.
So yeah, I didn’t try to “fake it.” I took time for myself, because here’s the other side of why I’m so excited to share the news…
My first trimester was HARD. And I’m officially out of it! Getting to finally share this post means that I’ve arrived, out of the trenches, and hopefully into the form of pregnancy that everyone raves about (you know, that “glow” and such).
I have so many posts to share with you in the near future, pregnancy-related and otherwise. It was nearly impossible for me to work from weeks 6-10, so for that entire month I was couch-bound and eating more peanut butter and jelly than a six year-old. So I have plenty of goodies coming your way.
Here's a photo of the real bump, which Ryan took last night. It's tiny, because I'm only at 14 weeks. Talk about pregnancy brain! I was so concentrated on the WRITING for this post that I forgot to take an actual photo of the bump. We aren't doing our official photoshoot and gender reveal until next weekend, but I couldn't hold the news for any longer!
Below the story of how everything happened, in case you’re interested :)
I haven’t been on birth control for seven years. I was one of the only people I knew who decided to get off of birth control at age 25 because of the potential long-term effects of the drug on my body, including infertility down the road. Whether this played a role in how easily I got pregnant, I’ll never know.
Ryan and I weren’t planning to start a family until this Summer. I thought I had things all planned out. (HA!) We had several trips planned, including a bachelorette party to Vegas for my future sister-in-law, and who wants to be pregnant for that?!
So, in our minds, August 2017 was go-time...
…until Mother Nature played her own cards during a rainy trip to San Diego.
I had been monitoring my cycle for the past five or so months, simply noting the days I was getting my period, when it was over, how long my cycle was, etc. I tend to always ovulate mid-way.
My cycles weren’t consistent from November-January, probably with all of the travel and stress I was dealing with when it came to work-related endeavors.
My normal cycle length was 30 days, but the last two were 25 and 26. Without getting too TMI, Ryan came to visit while I was in San Diego during yoga training and I obviously mis-calculated my ovulation by a few days. I'm not positive that I misstepped with my ovulation, which makes me believe the whole ovulation thing doesn't matter as much as we think. (The whole 24 hour window and "we have to have sex RIGHT NOW!" thing. If you've been trying to get pregnant, I know you get it).
It was early March, and my cycle had gone past 30 days, which had NEVER happened before. On the morning I hit 32 days, I just knew I was pregnant. I’m so in touch with my body, which I believe is also why I had such a hard time dealing with the first trimester.
I woke up at 7am and took a pregnancy test. It was positive, and...I panicked.
I wish I could tell you I was elated and excited and all of those things, but since it was unplanned, I had no idea how to react. I kind of sat on the toilet starring at the test, wondering what to do next. It’s pretty hysterical in retrospect.
I took a second test just to make sure. Positive again.
Ryan was still home, talking to our contractors downstairs. I had a decision to make.
Wait and tell him when he gets home from work with little baby shoes and balloons (which I did anyway, photos below!), or tell him right now.
I’m not a patient person in situations like this, so I screamed “Ryan, get up here right NOW!!” as loud as I could and he came running upstairs. I waited for him in our bathroom and held out the positive pregnancy test as he walked in the room.
He cried, we hugged, and it was so very sweet. Then, in typical Ryan fashion, he stopped thinking about his feelings and thought about mine.
He said, “Wait, are you okay?”
And I cried tears of both happiness and confusion, because I didn’t know how to answer his question.
It’s a really interesting moment when you find out you’re pregnant. We hugged and kissed for another few moments, but then Ryan went to work shortly thereafter. I was left home thinking to myself, “WTF do I do now?!??”
Because I had pictured a very different moment for giving Ryan the news, I spent the day buying balloons and baby Uggs and setting it all up for when he got home. This time, he cried again along with me, and it was all happy tears once I had a few hours to really let it soak in.
But really, how cute are these little Ugg booties? And, naturally, I had to buy myself a new pair of slippers. I purposefully bought them a size up because I knew my feet would swell throughout pregnancy.
Truthfully, it was a shock for me to get pregnant by surprise. I talked with my psychic (who I speak with twice per year) and she told me in November that I’d be pregnant soon and the conception would be easy, but the pregnancy itself would be hard.
Even though I speak with a psychic, I’m still cautious about what she has to say. But homegirl was dead on in every single aspect, even the gender.
And, I hadn’t heard of many people getting pregnant not only naturally, but quickly, in the recent past. So I was skeptical. Some of my dearest friends had trouble conceiving, and I expected the same for me.
I suppose this was a lesson in several ways. I have to admit that I felt rather guilty when I did get pregnant so quickly after watching many of my friends struggle. I almost wished something would go wrong so I could be in their shoes and not have to feel the "why me?" emotion that kept coming up. But as I mention down below, everyone's journey is different.
I hope that my many posts down the road will help women who may be struggling with infertility or are thinking about trying to get pregnant. Either I was completely lucky, or there were lifestyle habits I was partaking in that impacted my ability to conceive.
I think it was a combination of both, to be honest. Combined with the luck, I did months of prep work beforehand, reading up on proper nutrition and supplements, resting more, doing less intense workouts, etc. Even though you may “feel” healthy on the inside, your body may not be in baby-making shape. Many women expect they can get off of birth control one month and make a baby the next. For some, it happens, but for most, there's much more that needs to transpire in order to prepare one's body for baby both mentally and physically.
I plan on sharing exactly what I did to prepare in the coming months! Every pregnancy journey is different, which was a major lesson for me. It's hard not to compare yourself, but try your best not to--when it comes to everything pregnancy entails. Conceiving, handling the first trimester, symptoms, genetic testing, etc. I'll be diving into all of this in the near future.
For now, I’m happy to be where I am in this pregnancy, and am looking forward to enjoying the ride. These nine months are really just a blip of time in what will surely be an exciting roller coaster filed with love, patience, and lots of fun.
Thank you so much for allowing me to share this news with you. I hope you enjoyed my story! I’d love to hear from you guys—where are you in your journey? Thinking of starting a family, not even on your radar, already pregnant, or kiddos are out and done? Tell me more!
Also, if you have any questions you'd like answered around the pregnancy (like cravings, how I've felt, how far along, what each week was like, etc.) post them in the comments below and I'll answer them in one of next week's posts!